as short as my last relationship...

We are so many things.....
You loved me so called most of all beings...
We argue over little things....
Where are we going in this relationship?
Down hill or so it seems....
I love you much, you love me more.....
But you nag me so much even when im just going to the store....
So we argue and argue, but got no where....
I said i was tired and you gave a blank stare....
On that note i ended it so calm, but in your eyes it seemed i dropped a large bomb....
I said we should love but not quite like this cuz this relationship is just not our eternal bliss...

Minstrel Show Ho'

My tears drain the joy from my soul leaving an empty shell, from which carries aborted love children out of my body and into the sea of painful reality...

My ears are filled with trickery music only hear by the lonely at heart...wishing for a solution to light their painful dark....

I am striving to be more than just a character in this minstrel show called life i seem to want to be the star..knowing the pain she goes through is so much less than mine...

As the lights shine and the camera starts i let it look in to my eyes and tell the story of me through my lies....
I dance around the issues that cloud my mind making you all laugh at my niggerish buffoonery....and shuck and jive to keep this unpleasant crowd alive...

I am now your minstrel show hoe....

Fucking the beat and backdrops licking the sweet syrup from the toe tops of the audience to please and appease a never settled crowd...

I am a foolishly loud ad, foolish becuz that who i am all you expect from me....

The minstrel show hoe....

So it seems i am no good for anything but entertaining rock hard penises and cherry tinted lips all with a simple sway of my hips....

But... soon I, the minstrel show hoe, must go on to a place of rest past all you oppressive eyes and lie in the shallow grave dug for all your minstrel show legends....

Who Deserved more of what you never gave.

in responce to lavish...

Tears streamed down my eyes... I held in all my emotions of that day and it all came out in the time span I read his words. No words just silence as I retreat in to my shell of darkness...
Thanks for remembering and mom says she still likes you.

Darkness falls...
I'm out.

Damn I really need some damn weed.

Damn R.i.P Jalaine

So I just left my aunty's house happy as hell to be home cuz after the shyt that happened this weekend hell! Plus I'm glad I didn't see him...Nothing but bad would have come of it. Man like so everything was bad cuz the 5th was the one year anniversary of my fathers death and all types of sadness was engulfing the house. My brother started drinking and Granny was kinda down. Things just weren't what they used to be. Then today my twin does the dumbest shyt ever because of a damn boi I mean really the police and my family all involved nothing good came of it. An to think I was going to come home and blog about a good day...That shyt aint happen fuck it oh well.

All in all fuck it...
Plus all the Ex's that live near my aunty I'm sure its abut 3 now.
I'm out!



P.s. Damn I need some weed!

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the beat...

Today is the day of break!
Yay !
So... today is a day of just chilling and homework... Great!
Man if y'all only knew how focused I really am in comparison to last semester you would be madd proud. It just feels good to be back on track and making my family and self proud again. In all honesty it just feels good to be back to my sister soul self, cuz she has been pushed back to please others. Well now we are back in unison and Sista Soul is not going anywhere!
Anywho... got stuff to do and sleep to get I'll add more later.

Pay day and broke day... All about out look.

You can't blame anyone but yourself for your fuck ups!!

Now that I have said that here are some kind words we all need to hear at some point.
People often want to find a person to blame for their short comings. I am as guilty of this as anyone else, but we must at times take a step back and look at how we coulda played the situation better. If we couldn't then it was beyond our control.
At times people feel like blaming some one else is the thing to make them feel better....Not! Its all b.s.! I feel like this if you fuck up take responsibility for that and keep on pushing period. The same thing goes for moods and feelings. I understand we as human work on vibrations, but one must learn to operate on a higher frequency thus building your self higher. Make the most of a bad situation and think that somewhere down the line its not even going to be as bad as it was or is at that time. Especially if you are aiming to change it!

I know this is a short blog, but this Queen has class to go to...Lol!

All in all everyone be blessed, strive for the best and remember Ain't no half stepping!




Peace!

Ellez!

The power in femininity ...

Today I woke up feeling real spiritual...
I wanted to wake up and just embrace my womanhood full throttle. You know do something different, make the radiance within shine brighter than the sun. Amaze men with my allure and make other women proud of not just me; at the fact they, too are women.
Just totally embrace me!

Ever since the I realized that I am my own love experience, it seems as though other things just aren't so hard to do. Even the concept of being single is a great thing in my eyes. I notice that I am getting a lot more accomplished alone than if I were with someone else. In my opinion I feel like why even try to be with some one if you aren't together with your self or at least almost together with yourself. Are you that selfish that you must involve some one else in your short comings?
All in all being single isn't all that bad when you realize that you still have remodeling within yourself to do. Lol!

Here's a song for y'all and I'm out!