My Revelation after procrastination

Ok so I was supposed to write this lst night when I got out of the shower, but I never got around to it... Lol! Plus I got about an hour to make it to class.

So last night while I was doing the usual routine (double body wash and washing of the hair) I realized that the last relationship I was in was actually my first true and real one. Wow, I know! With that said it made me think what did I call all of the other ones? I mean what were they really?
I mean don't get me wrong everything happens for a reason but if Rick was my first true and real boyfriend does that mean I was emotionally single with every other dude?

*Well before I go any further I just want to let all know I am in no shape or form trying to interrupt him and his girls happiness I'm just stating my revelation. *

I can honestly thank him for giving me the time to learn and grow a bit in the know how about relationships. No he wasn't the best thing since a washing machine but he still was a good guy.
I can honestly say that he was a learning experience for my future love experience. Hopefully I remember to put everything I though of in the shower in this cuz most times I cant even remember what I'm saying even if I just said it.

Well y'all I'm out!
Much love!
Hotep from Elles!

Well...

Today is the first day of class and I am currently in between classes... Just plain bored. Things have been going fairly well in my world thus far, so I can't complain.

Not much to say... I know I was promising things of better and bigger well here goes.

A few things that just might get you through the day!



Why?

Really now? No sneak dissing here.

Ok... Folks I'm back!
I'm wondering about a few things to be quite honest.

1. How can some one you don't really talk to quote you and they can't even see where you quoted it at?
2. How do they get off saying you never meant anything? Really now?

3. So you wanna try to kick a person when you think they are down?

Well all in all Imma go in!

First of all I let sleeping dogs lay for the simple fact that respect your girl after the convo. Secondly for you to write about anything I wrote in any situation after the convo is irrelevant for the simple fact that it had nothing to do with you, thus, you invited your own emotions in to the publication. Also one can wonder if you are ever so not malicious, or so you say. How can you lie about emotions and or situations?
Like dude I totally can't believe I even paid any attention in the first place. No! I will not say I regret knowing you, but I will say I regret not following my true feeling as well as those who told me to look out about you.
Yes... I have my flaws and I own up to them freely, but can you own up to yourself about yours...

I will not wish bad upon, but only the justice the universe sees fit to hand you and all living things. I have learned from this mistake not to ever go through it again; to not compromise who I am for anyone ,as well as don't allow those that aren't productive in your life, because over time you yourself will become the very same. Normally I would display such anger and ignorance but I woke up and snapped out of the trance I was once in. See I wasn't this angry before you came about and all of the bad life energy that you had only allowed my bad energy to grow. Now that I realize that I must first live it to be it. I will try to attain the balance in my life I was once seeking so that I may live a balanced life. So for those that feel I have wronged them I truly apologize. For those who have wronged me no need to apologize for you have already been forgiven, but never forgotten.

Hotep!
~Rae~

wat once was...

River Story

This love of ours tells a story like a river over rocks.
When it rains hard the rivers runs deep, fast, and violent upon the rocks that it loves so dearly.
But with out the rain, the river itself cannot thrive.
When the rain stops and the sun arrives the river runs calm and clear showing the earth around it so much love.
We ourselves are the river ever changing and flowing.

The storms in our relationship only replenish and renew our love.
And like that river we run eternally, telling wise words, and helping those around us thrive.
But like that river we ourselves must move on and flow to bigger and greater bodies of our lives.
There is no fear in us, no selfishness only love ever flowing.
I know that we have had turbulent times that seem impossible to get through, but only time and hard work can make those moments mean more than just bad memories.
See We are like the Nile flowing against gravity.
Showing and telling a history as we make all around us thrive.
So my dear like the rivers in this world let love flow like a river in ours.

An update/ Confessions to Roderic Ray...

Well I have good news and I have bad news...

Good news is I got a new phone the Blackberry Tour! Totally love it like beyond all types of love!

Bad News... there is a great deal of uncertainty in my world none the less I keep on pushing.

Well since my lil blog break so much has happened. I went from a pretty happy relationship to letting go all together. I mean it hurts to let go but obviously it was the best thing to do since he and I argued like no other over everything. At times I think I am going for the wrong men and giving to much time and energy to things that shouldn't be paid any attention but all in all, I guess it makes you stronger.

The most painful part of this hiatus was the realization that the one I truly loved and was with lied to me. True enough how we broke up was wrong, but honestly don't sell dreams when yours have come true. It was foolish of me to not expect him to move on, but at the least be honest about it. I shed tears for an hour about the fact the he threw away the option that there could ever be us again.
There will for the time being be a sense of psycho in my mind about it. No... I will never like her for the fact that she felt the need to speak on things that never pertained to her in a sense, but the blame is not entirely on her. If he were as honest as he claimed to be may all these so called feeling wouldn't exist. At times I wish I could go back to the times when we were happier but that is a pure fantasy. He simply wasn't the one since he could seriously not even let things fall according to plan. Maybe I was wrong for expecting him to what things as bad as I did. At the end of the day love is lost and I will not even be a mere thought in his mind. In true confessions I wonder what does she do for you that I didn't? Do you sit up with her in the middle of the night laughing and talk with here like you did with me? Does she cook for you?
Just looking at pictures of us together makes me feel all types of emotions. The picture of me in the hospital that you took. The tears I cried the night I got the positive pregnancy test that you never knew about cuz I was to scared to tell. The fact that even before the little one could be more that just a small fragment of love we had... It was gone. Yes... Letting go is so hard to do cuz you were me and I was you. I still laugh at the fact we look alike, or the fact that we both had fro's. Yet I still shed tears from the fights and heart felt moments we had... So I end this with a blessing on you and your endeavors.
Good Luck and may she love you more than the sand loves the ocean...

~Rachele

Wtf is up with me and the movies, today?

Ok... so I watched Diary of a Tired Black Man... Only for me to watch its A Thin Line between Love and Hate. So all in all this whole day life is trying to tell me something. That something very well maybe that one must be more so in tune with self than with another. To me that speaks volumes. I mean I tend to please and appease others so much only to get tired of putting on a show which in turn makes a person think that I am something more than what I am.
Well none the less it is very true that there is a thin line between love and hate. Hopefully one can stay on one side of the line.

Diary of a Tired Black Man...

Wow! So I'm sitting here watching the movie Diary of a Tired Black Man. Its amazing to see the world from a mans perspective. Like there are sooo many men that I see being talked about in this movie that I took out time in my life to date. This movie is a definite must see for all people dating, single or married. It makes you pose a few questions.
1. Why do we as women put up with the men that are either no good or lazy,but turn down the hardworking loving humble man?
2. Is it because they feel that the "good" man is weak?
3. Where does the anger in black women come from?

Lastly where do we as people stand when it comes to making decisions in relationships?

Anywho... Everyone that reads this should check out the movie.

Much love peace and blessings, Rae!