New Direction

As I'm sitting here listening to a mix of Vivian Green and Jay Electronica, I come to the realization that I need to take my blog in a different direction. So from now on I will telling about my journey towards being a healthier person not just physically but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well. So from now on I will be gearing this blog towards the happier sid of life.

Well be blessed all, and I look forward to bringing ya'll good info.

Bust the eyeballs out yo face!!!! GRRRR

Ok...
so my black ass has been procrastinating on the blog writing lately.
As well as other things...
See as of lately I have been going in such a motion that resembles an atom. It's like my life has been a fucking whirlwind or so to speak. I mean... can I be real with ya'll? See I have recently reaquired this wonderful type dude, but I still want the old one to do well and burn in hell at the same time. I dunno why, but I do. Its not so much as me being jealous or just anything its so much as me being mad about wasted love and affection as well as my uncanny in ability to let muhfucks go. Its almost like my life was inundated with him or so to speak. Anyways I am going through thie evil ass urge to like do him physical harm just cuz. I kno evil side... right?
I won't though cuz with anything time heals all wounds and such.

Like I truly wish he would just go disappear some where so the fact that I know he is still breathing won't annoy me. Anyways... Now I'm sitting here being evil til Lonzo gets here cuz he and I need to majorly talk. Honestly sometimes I wonder why I didn't just stay with him in the first place. Then all the confliction I'm going through would have never happened. Well thats all for now folks.
Peace!
Evil Ellez

Back from the Chi!

First and foremost niggas ain't shit, but Alonzo is!!! Ha ha No really!
Well as of lately I have been in Chicago straight clowning!!! KNOW THAT!!!
Lmao!
I truly have been enjoying my whole little vacation, until I came home. I mean its sad I feel the way I do towards this person, but I do. Honestly I feel a bit played but I will get over it. Just know that you got me this time Rick a lesson learned!
Anywho... back to Lonzo! Nite!

Sleepy

So I'm blogging drunken with sleep, but other wise almost content.
i say almost because I had to go through hell and back to get my own damn ipod back only to end up being cussed out for wanting my own shyt! (People these days are a trip!)
Then I gets my baby purp (ipod) back only for my damn phone to just up and stop working ... Dude wtf!
Overall today was a good day give or take a few lil mishaps.
Still on the count down till I go to Chi- Town !

Anywho off to sleep before I head off to this job thingy!
Laterz!

Ellez

Im leaving on the mid morn train to Chi town!!!

YAY!!!!
Its official I'm going to Chicago next weekend!!!!

I am so excited...Like beyond excited!
Okay nuff said. I'll holla!

Peanut Butter Cookies and Chicago Style pizza

Well I'm on a break from being Betty Crocker...Literally!
Now I'm just up trying to pull together my trip to Chicago, hoping all that is needed is going to be done with no hassle. As well as getting ready for school Aug 24 is soon approaching ya know?
There hasn't been much on my minde except for the trip and taking some time to have a me day...or weekend. This should be mad fun ya know!
Well my chocolate peanut butter brownies are done and hopefully I get my vaca wish!

~*~Ellez~*~

Soooo I hate/love Detroit and the people in it...

As Im sitting here jamming to Sade... I realize that I had a set of goals around this time, that I truly wanted to accomplish. Sadly most of them were never accomplished at all.

Well here is the list yet again with some revisions...

1. Go to school for a semester or two, so I can transfer to a school out of state.
2. Get a job doing something i want to do.
3.Focus more on the important and stop getting distracted.
4. Succeed at all that I do.

Hopefully, I can stick with the plan.!

Disappearing acts

I'm so ready to leave this here place I'm in.
I feel like this life I'm living is not where I want to be.
I truly don't see myself where I am right now.
Often times I wish I could just do a disappearing act and somehow be gone.

untitled

Tears cloud my judgment as well as my eyes ...
My feet can't run fast enough to get me out of the nightmare of lies.
My dreams are suffocated by this so called love.
Life is becoming a cocktail of volatile drugs.
No rest for the weary I always hear, but never has anyone ever asked why the ones were weary...

one of my fave poems I wrote...

I saved you from yourself and you never even thanked me.
Its ok cuz you never even knew you were in danger.
I loved you from a distance and watched you grow, making my self the faceless hero.
I was there for you at your best and worst moments lurking in the expected breaths you took for granted.
I have waited my whole life for you to embrace me and you never did.
I was the driving force that helped you get through college.
I was the poise that landed you the job you dreamed.
Yet still I remained nameless.
I was the man you let go, the child you aborted, and the angel that held your hand when you made the careless decisions.
I was the warning you got when you saw the one you loved in the casket.
So when will you acknowledge me?
What will it take for you to put a face to me?
Do i have to take the things you hold dear?
Yes!
This faceless hero has made a name for him self all thru your life, but now you will know me as...
Death,
Life,
Time,
and Love....

the faceless hero.

Random poem

Tru words spoken by a woman that is more of a dream caster than a poet...


You ignite memories into the eternal fire of good feelings.
Your energy brings forth royalty only gods posses.
I, truly a mere mortal, am blessed to have ever known you...
In past life times we played along riverbeds of diamonds and golden sand, a time where love was true and honest; only bestowed on the wealthy at heart.
We somehow traveled time within every breath close to ones ear.
Like magic, a simple whisper sends chills thru my spine that rival the ice age.
You my man are the melody Coltrane got high to try to achieve…
The reason why Darius made a blues for Nina u are...
Love at its finest, purest, greatest; you are the original black man built souly from my dreams.

Lady Elle

Short and sweet

Here is a few songs that are the definition of me...

Clever by Erykah Badu ( but its not sung by her in the vid)
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There goes my heart by Mariah Carey
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Be me by Ms Leah
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Just one of them days by Monica
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Starting all over by Jeremih
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Well thats all Enjoy!
Hope it let you a lil more into my world.

SoUl RaE

Motivation of the matter

I am insanely tired... and still I write.
I am motivated!!!
By the dream that lives within me...
its pushes me to be a better person, lover, family member and so on.
It also pushes me to push the b.s. out of my life.
In a few months I will be 21 and sadly I have not accomplished all that I wanted to accomplish by the time I reach 21. I can not blame any one but my self for my some times lack of motivation and distraction but I can change the things I have the power to change.

I am very much so tired of the angry black woman feelings that have taken over my world. I am also tired of these lazy ass baby mama's and women that obsessed over everything but themselves and the future. If I hear one more chick talking bout how her life aint rite with out him...Imma just blo up places at random.

Anywho this is a sleepy grumpy rant !
Will elab after a rest...

ellez

Wow so today was a bull shyt ass day! I will def elaborate when I get home.

Wow mobile testing

5:15

So
Its
5:15!

Why am I still up?

I
Don't
Know!

Why am I typing like this?

Cuz I'm still up!
Duh!

Not much on my mind, but love.
You know the true love that shakes your core. The kind of love you hear about in Brian McKnight or Luther songs, not Keshia Cole.
I'm just sitting here listening to Raheem DeVaughn, wishing I could have the true love experience. There are many times I felt or believed that I was having the love experience, but it really wasn't. I want the type of love that is gently firm with me and my heart. The kind that is a supportive and needs to be supported. Oddly in the 20 years of my life I can say I have had that but was to caught up with another man to realize it.
Lord knows if I could venture towards the southern part of america to find him I would.

Moon Walking away after Busting the Window out your car.

Well...I'm back from the fams house after a fun filled 4th of july.
Sadly I'm feeling real evil and emotional, I honestly can't believe I'm feeling the feelings that I feeling. It seem like I'm mad about so many thing that I would think I'm over but I truly am not. So I guess I'll write a poem.

Moon walking after Busting the windows out your car.

So I rode past your house...
only to find a random car in your drive way.
I sped off like a nascar driver...
Only to come back a few hours later to see her leaving, and you two share a passionate kiss.
One tear fell down my face, cuz so swiftly my world crashed down right in my front seat.
I waited till she left...
to let the rest of my tears fall.
See there is not telling what I may do after seeing this and hearing the words you spoke replay in my head.
So I gathered my self and left...
Oh but I returned the next nite.
Same car, same spot, except this time you left the blinds open.
Yes!
I saw everything!
Damn you said you didn't know how to give head!
Well your doing a great job on her right now!
Its okay cuz as you were performing your gracious copulations...I was moon walking away after busting the windows out of your car.
Please don't think you were the only victim in this soundtrack assault!
Cuz after her lovely orgasms she will scream even louder to see the thriller job I did to her tires.

Lol!
Well thats just was a lil *stortry on my mind...


*story and poetry together

At my best and my worst I am still me...

Well these past few days have been hell! None the less...I am still me at the end of the day learning lessons from my mistakes. It takes a whole lot out of me to apologize to people, but I will do it simply because thats only the right things to do.

So here goes...
To Rick and T.y. I apologize for being a huge asshole to yall about things, ya'll simply are my faves!
To Rick's friend who's name I honestly don't know (azidula?) I apologize for being a bitch and I don't know you... nothing more nothing less :-)
To myself for not living up to my own divine expectations!
Lastly I apologize on the behalf of the individuals that strive to be nothing more than what they are now...Nothing!
If there is no words here don't take it personal cuz I simply don't feel I owe you an apology!

Now that I have gotten that out the way...I can begin with me.

I am still Soul Amazing Rae, still spoiled, and headstrong.
Going through some of the things that have been going on only has made me more aware of those I call friends and family. There is no way around the fact that some people are just what they are. That in turn makes me strive to be more than just that bitch...I want to be Thee Bitch that carries herself , all she believes and loves on her shoulders without even breaking a sweat.
Now don't get me wrong I am not perfect, never claimed to be, but I strive to be like no other.
Anywho I am being summoned I shall call this blog straight to the point type thing right now...Lol!!

~Ellez~

New Day, Maybe?

So it never ceases to amaze me as to how people can tell you not to feel a certain way, only for them to turn around and do the very same thing they just got on you about doing...Hmm!

So... I woke up to him and was not mad. I guess It takes for us to seem like there is no connection for certain people to not thrive off of the fact we have drama. (drama whores) Well there is some house keeping that needs to be done.
He and I are we until we is no longer us!
I honestly and truly love and care for him in ways many won't understand, and I don't need you to.