Damn... For real I guess

So it seems you can't even be nice to people these days like wtf!
All I did was ask genuinely how you doing only to get a barrage of cuss words from out of your mouth, and to think I walked out of football lessons from the hubby to at least show I care...Hmm.
Well anywho today was a bomb ass good day. No drama just love and peace...and some more love!
School is going well and plans are falling into place everything is great.
Wat else is there to say?!?!?

Today was madd cool

Not much to say had fun today!
Di and I had a cool ass day. Its the first I had in a long time.
Oh and shouts out to Mrs. Aj Ray... Lmao! You had me rolling thru the VMA's wish we didn't interact on such awkward terms but you a cool chick all in all!

Lastly Zo and I are back in the relationship game hope it goes well!

Welp good morn and I will holla when I get to class!

no essay...

So yesterday I just posted past poems in place of new word feelings.
On the inside I'm just not well.... Sadness engulfs but my joy should be back soon...

Confessions of a fat girl...

I want to look like less so you can love me more...

Be more than the girl you fuck at nite, you know ya personal fat whore...

I wonder if i was skinny would you show me off like a brand new Benz, when you got ya income tax ends...

I wish you were there when i cry my butter tears from my years of overdosing on my favorite white girl...Sara Lee.

See I confess i want to be her the girl that weighs less that 210...

The girl that holds all your affection... With her size 2's and salads.

I feel as though if i sang you a million ballads you still wouldn't love me cuz of my bad eating habits.
I love You more than she ever will !!

I'm a big girl with big love and just because I'm fat, I can't be sent from above?...

I love you fool and by all means I am fat....So if i were skinny would you love me back... these things i confess i break my back and a sweat to give you my best.

So Imma get on this Diet and do it for us, cuz i wanna be the object of your affection and no longer your lust.

just be

As i sit in my classroom
thinking of these days of gloom
wonder wat i have in store
simply for my life i want more

I sit and dream my life away
Parties, fun and foolish love
Young and gifted i hope to stay
But soon i move on and fly with doves

My hopes , my dreams all things in between
I hope to find my love supreme
i am so young but feel so old
so it seem with men my heart grows cold.

a new found love i truly hope to attain so know that when i find it, it will be held dear on a precious chain

..... the mistress

I don't know what we are...but I know we are fucking.

I don't know what we are doing to your child's mother....But its hurting her.

I cant explain the feelings between us ....but its not love.

I often wonder what is the purpose of this affair...but it seems like it never had one.

I see the pain in the words she writes about....but i can only continue to lie for you for so long.

The one thing i am sure of is...that we can no longer continue this tainted love affair.

I can no longer be the other woman.....simply becuz i am my own woman.

So my suggestion to you is....Go home to your family and let what we had go.

Mental torture

I cant wait to feel the warm rush of feelings you get the one you love gets within miles of you, let alone inches.

I cant wait till i see you and i know you the one without any word or movement, i just know.

I cant wait till you come to me and shower me with all the love our bodies cant stand till we collapse from the power of our love combined.

I cant wait till i can give all this love thats been heavy on my heart that its almost a burden.

I cant wait till you discover all the feelings that i kept hidden from others because it so powerful , yet so delicate that it would take only a real love to understand and nurture.

I cant wait!
I wont wait!
I DONT WANNA WAIT!

I cant wait till we are Us with no spaces in between our mental, spiritual, and physical love.

I cant wait till you right my wrongs...answer my questions...give me closure on life and love in this world cause you are all i need and want.

I cant wait to give this give between these chocolate, caramel thighs.

I cant wait to see your eyes light up when you discover your special surprise and return the gratitude till sunrise.

I cant wait to praise the Heavens above because God sent me a gift so beautiful that it brings diamond tears to my eyes.

I cant wait!
I cant wait!
I wont wait!
I DONT WANNA WAIT!

I cant wait till you are hold me and we realize that forever is only seconds and eternity is just tomorrow in this love we have, cause eternity and forever is to short for our kind of love.

I cant wait till we are holding each other like its the last time even though we know its not.

I cant wait till our love to others is as true and complex as quantum physics.

I cant wait till i find you cause the only thing missing in my blessed life is you.

I cant wait!
i wont wait!
I DONT WANNA WAIT!

The ultimate depression

I sit.....
Here.....
wondering why its so hard for me to wake up in the morning.
The thoughts of failure constantly swim in my head...
...along with the fact that if i don't win all i fought for over the years will mean nothing.....
As I lie here.....
Crying....
...Trying to get over the pain others caused me ....
slowly causing the line between normalcy and insanity slip away....
...Into a pool of sex and lies to pacify the heres and nows, the pains of whys and why didn't you love me like a
mother....father...
lover....Shit!!!
Like a person who loves me!!!
...So i continue to lay here hoping to drown in my ocean of tears...
slowly... drifting in to the pain that Amy Winehouse lets ooze out of her voice and into my house only to let me succumb to the darkness my life has grown accustomed to in the past few years.....
I can only wish and dream for a lifesaver in this sorrow of mine only to realize this is reality and no one can save you from yourself and all you know.....
So i continue to lie my self to you and other believe i have my shyt together when all i know is slowly falling apart and has loudly crumbled at my feet...
I will never admit i am in this ultimate depression....cuz almost in definite succession you will see me eating my painful slice of the devils pie.....why!!!!
... Cuz all i know i pain and tears of constant sins displayed and played on my head, heart and womb....slipping me in to the further painful life doom.....Thats is my ultimate depression and my untimely life nearing death of my soul and joy......